dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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