I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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