He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
