it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
