This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
