For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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