I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
