i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
