gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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