call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
