I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize