so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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