I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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