Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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