you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
