your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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