so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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