Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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