Non-Jews are for practice
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Randomize
