I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize