i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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