i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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