oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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