I wish i was in the wii world.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize