Jerry, you need to find god
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize