Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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