a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
