rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
