you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
