dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
