i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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