Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
