She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
