Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
