she was so not down for the gang bang
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize