He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
