If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
