WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
