Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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