I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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