He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
