I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize