think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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