You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
