Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I deserve this hangover.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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