So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
the room spins SO much faster in panama
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
