Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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