heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize