There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
