I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I love you. Go after that dick
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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