Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
