I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
