I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
