just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
