Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Dignity is for republicans.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
