did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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