they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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