hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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