oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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