lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize